7.29.2009

On Guard

Our bodies talk to us all the time. We can hear the signals when we listen. I had an uneasy conversation with a friend today. We had some truths we needed to share. The moment he asked if he could be honest with me my body got warm. It started in that spot in my sternum and spread. I definitely felt it there. It was the anticipation and the shield I put up protecting me from the things he might say. Since I felt this guard, I could hear him from a safe place. I was able to receive his words and meaning without absorbing them. I could make choices on what I would take to heart and how I would react.

Afterward I told this story to a friend. She said she recognized the warm feeling, but to her it meant dread. It made her tense and shut down. How was it that two people with the same physiological sensation interpret it so differently? I think it comes down to journeys and choices.

I Choose My Choice

By now I hope I have let you in on the closeness of my body and I. Through the years of dieting woes, sexual development and maturity, we have grown toward one another. And after those experiences, and the listening I’ve done regarding food, it came down to a choice. A choice about healing. About choosing to heal the relationship with myself, my body.

Most everyone can agree we get one life on this earth in human form. One relatively short window of opportunity to enjoy and make the most of this gift of life. Somewhere on my journey, through rants and raves and tears and meditation, I made a choice. I made the choice to view life as an opportunity from a perspective of optimism and find the best way to live in H. It really only takes the question to be asked once and bluntly, “Do you choose H or do you choose misery?” It seems to me like an obvious answer. So I chose H and have dedicated all my decisions thereafter to be in line with that original answer.

So today I chose that feeling to be one of protection. Because that choice allowed me peace and strength. Those feelings are much more useful to me on my quest of H than dread and fearfulness.

Together Forever

After the honest conversation, I felt calm and reflective and proud knowing I had a teammate in my body and we faced it together. That was another choice I made. To see my body as my teammate, on my side. Certainly I could have chosen to resent the signals my body sent. Thinking they were obstacles to the things I wanted. But again I chose. The question was, “Would you prefer to go through life alone and rely only on the whims of other people for support? Or would you like to have something that is with you 100% of the time and is always on your side?” Again, it seemed like a no-brainer. It is nice to know that in the whole world there is at least one thing there for me 100% of the time. All I have to do is love it back and communicate.


Give and Take

Every time I make an entry I will also share what I gave my teammate that day. (Not a journal, I didn’t think anyone would want to know everything little thing I eat every day… But certainly correct me if I’m wrong. I’m more than happy to fill you in.) But if I don’t keep up my end of the bargain with my body, I cannot expect the protection and safety it gave me today.

Upon waking: An apple spread w/ raw almond butter
Lunch: Egg salad sandwich

Yoga: 45 minutes focusing on shoulders, brain balancing, back strength and breathing

Also as I introduce new foods in my log, I will tell you why I eat them and you can decide if you want to feel those effects.

The Foods I Eat:
Apple: Fiber – cleanses and makes me fuller longer, natural sugars give me energy without the crash of processed sugars
Coffee, black: I love the taste of coffee. The jury is out on its health benefits or detriments… Some say cancer fighting, some say liver clogging… I drink 2 cups/day for the taste, comfort factor and the jumpstart. Any more than that and my body voices its distaste. I get jittery and my heart pumps and then a crash. None of which are things I want to be feeling. (Static – keeps me from getting other signals.)
Almond-butter: Nuts provide protein (energy, muscle repair) and fat. We need fat in our diets. Unsaturated is the good kind. AB does not have the high sugar content that regular peanut butter does. Replace it and feel the difference after you eat it.

Eggs: More protein. Also vit A. Don’t skip the yolk… that is where all the good stuff is. And yes there is cholesterol in eggs, but nature made them complete by packing in a nutrient that prevents it from oxidizing in your liver and arteries.
Mayo: Artificial, fatty and not good for you. J but it has a taste I can’t get away from. So moderation. Small amounts.
Garlic: natural metabolism booster
Chives: Tasty! Little bit of Vit A and C, but mostly just tasty.
Sprouted 7- grain Bread: Ooo yikes bread carbs! Chill out. So much of the bloated lethargic feeling you get after eating bread is a reaction most of us have to gluten. Sprouted grains do not contain as much guten and do contain more calcium and iron then processed grains. Also moderation. One slice of this bread provides plenty of substance but won’t stuff you.

And of course, H2O: Lubricates your insides, helps you digest food by helping your liver do its job. Oddly hydrating your body with water also reassures it that it will get more of water. If we don’t continually feed it water, it stores (retains) water and causes bloat. Your body needs to be shown it can depend on you.