Its time I got back on the wagon with my writing. Its been a bit and I have a short stack of drafts I will share with you in the next couple weeks, but I wanted to interrupt the regular flow and give what I consider to be a highly significant update.
Testing 1 2
The journey I've been taking for the last few years in being comfortable in my skin underwent a test this month. I'd like to say I passed with flying colors but I can only say I learned a lot. This Halloween I was invited by someone special to me to a party at his friends' home. I was thrilled! I would meet people who were important to him and have a cocktail or two in the meantime. Although the typical adult female costume generally required adding the word "sexy" to just about any normal profession (nurse, pirate, baker, ...) I had perfected a cute 80s look last year and was convinced I would be the most comfy at the party in my purple high-tops.... thrilled!
Small Wrench
Its a themed murder mystery party. I was assigned a persona. Seriously?... I had just become comfortable playing myself. Now Olive Valderblat or whoever was stretching me. The thing I thought about Halloween was that you get to be a cooler, sexier, scarier version of yourself. Olive and I had nothing in common. She was a 60s school teacher. Nerdy, major math wiz and jealous of her moviestar sister (the hostess). And pretty upiddy about it from what I could tell from my character study on photocopied half-sheet.
Stressful. The 60s weren't my decade. I could fake 50s, 70s, 80s... but 60s schoolteacher was something even google had trouble conjuring up images of. Lucky for me this special guy was familiar with the area thrift stores and took me shopping. My heart hasn't beat that hard flipping through hangers since I was a size 18. How could I do this? How could I take this body that I had worked so hard to feel genuine and authentic in and dress it in hideousness? Hideousness that didn't fit, let alone flatter. I tried on a couple and held back tears.
I really need to master this. I need to separate the image in the mirror from who I am. Even after all that work bringing the two together.
I was so quiet. I took the "better" of the two dresses and quickly moved on. Man... I hope this guy is worth this... We matched it to a fabulous pair of red plastic and rhinestone cat-eye glasses and sprung from the store. Lets compare this briefly to what my date was searching for to wear as a moviestar shipwreck, think Gilligan heartthrob. Awesome.
Haunted Halloween
A few busy days later I left my house for work at 5am with a backpack full of hideous hoping for the best. After work I hopped a train to the 'burbs where the ultimate crime would take place. As if it wasn't enough torture, I spent an hour and a half stewing on the wrong train. How I longed for my purple high-tops... A little time to relax on the couch, a quick shower and it was time to transform.
Deep breaths... not too much make-up, center part, exhale... bad dress, red glasses. I was hoping no one would notice my pumps were black instead of blue like the dress. Lots of hoping associated with this event.
We were on our way.. In the car, all my insecurities that I had worked to put behind me rushed forward. Old boyfriends abandoning me at parties, would the girls accept me without my cute clothes, could I be enough of me to play Olive, with everyone playing characters how could I read the signals to direct me?
I overflowed. Through the deep breaths came sobs and I spilled my beans to this new boy. I told him I would have been more comfortable being naked at this party than what I was in. I considered that serious progress from where I had been. But I had no idea how far I apparently had to go. Being comfortable no matter what I was in or looked like. Whew... Exhausted to think I still have work to do.
This wonderful boy slowed my heart beat a bit by assuring me of his interest and connection to me and how really great the glasses were on me.
We walked in the font door and a lense popped out. Come On! Let me catch a Break! But a blessing maybe, since the remaining lense fogged up it was through the empty frame that I could be introduced around the room by my heartthrob. I could be introduced to all the rockstar guys and girls in go-go boots. Yup. All the other girls got to be typical 60s playthings with one appearence by the always stylish Jackie-O .. and then there was me. In my mismatched shoes, drappy polyester and lenseless glasses. The hostess had my back by apologizing for my assignment, but said I really looked great. Thanks dear. It was too much.
I really wish I could say that I straightened my spine, pushed my shoulders back and worked it. Knowing full well that it wasn't a reflection of me and all that mattered was that I knew me and I had a great date who was looking forward to learning more despite my hounds-tooth disaster. It didn't happen that way though.
I broke out in hives from the synthetics, drank too much red wine, too fast and fled to the bathroom. Sometime I will tell you all about this boy, my date, the heartthrob who quickly noticed my absence and came to rescue me. The one that held me, talked to me and ultimately got me out with the promise of a cigarette which I coughed all the way through. But for today the story ends there. Before long the game was over and I was offered a pair of Hudson's and Lulu Lemon to ease my troubled soul. And of course plenty more red wine.
The moral is, I guess, that the journey may never be over or at least when you think you have it covered the universe will offer a twist to move you to the next phase. Regardless of the costume, I'm still inside. As hard as I have worked to match the inside to the out... its really the inside that matters and my body is just the vessel. Not that I will stop dressing up the outside when I can, but its tailored perfection can't carry the importance it had been heaving.
The journey continues....
11.21.2009
8.27.2009
Cheesy Fries
So I’ve already mentioned that I used to eat things because I couldn’t hear through the static. I couldn’t hear my voice and my body through this wall. Admittedly there are times the static is preferable to the signals.
Let me tell you a little story about Cheesy Fries. Over the last three days I have been a little emotional. Pack a late sister’s birthday, a message from the boy who broke my heart and a perceived comment on my seemingly flailing career into three days and I tend to get that way. And today the cure was going to be cheesy fries. I wanted nothing more than hot melted cheese running over crispy, steaming fries. That was going to make me feel cozy and loved.
My first thought as I put away my logo T and matching hat from my day job was where could I find fries like this. I’ve been eating only high-quality cuisine for so long I didn’t know where to begin. I thought of the basic chains that serve terrible food; TGIFriday topped my list. Trouble is I honestly couldn’t even bring myself to walk into one. I just couldn’t do it.
My second thought was that anyone could dump fries in a fryer and slap cheese on top. My options were endless. So I would go back to my favorite downtown, after-work hangout. Trouble with that? I’d already told the manager about my blog and would be way too embarrassed to make that special request. I blog about healthy living. Shit! Again I just couldn’t do it.
So I spent the next 20 minutes walking around the Loop in Chicago trying to find the perfect place to grab my dirty cure. Oooo Hotel Bar! People there would think I was a tourist and not remember me if they saw me on the street. Well that one was closed for a private party. I so dislike eating in chain restaurants that I decided that was my only choice. The staff wouldn’t know me because I wouldn’t come back and no one I know would bother walking in with all the great local grub around. A ha! Elephant and Castle. They won out. Lucky them after the way I have been talking, eh? I sat at a table near the bar, ordered the house Cab and made my special request with an unapologetic giggle. After all I had put a lot of thought into this. Done.
The steaming pile came out quicker then I could hope for. A sip of my Cab and in I dived. The first fry tasted great! Everything I had dreamed of. I should have stopped there. The rest far missed their mark. They couldn’t possibly have lived up to my expectations. They were going to fix me up. Erase the last few days and put me back to normal. That is quite a load for a plate of potatoes and cheddar to bear. I should have known better. I do know better.
Clearly I have learned one lesson over the years, I didn’t finish my plate. I definitely ate way more than I needed to given their failure to make my day… but I did stop, let my bottom lip droop a little with disappointment and had my server take away the rejects. The Cab, though, may never fail.
Its amazing how much time I wasted, and energy and thought. I could have enjoyed a rejuvenating meal at one my favorite places. The odds are I may relapse again at some point and forget about food's inability to cure my moods. The best I can hope for is that I continue to remember faster then 2/3rds of the way through a plate of Cheesy Fries.
Give and Take
Breakfast: Coffee, Perfect Bagel w/ reduced fat cream cheese and salmon
Lunch: Cheesy Fries
Yoga: One Full Forward Bend
What a day!
Let me tell you a little story about Cheesy Fries. Over the last three days I have been a little emotional. Pack a late sister’s birthday, a message from the boy who broke my heart and a perceived comment on my seemingly flailing career into three days and I tend to get that way. And today the cure was going to be cheesy fries. I wanted nothing more than hot melted cheese running over crispy, steaming fries. That was going to make me feel cozy and loved.
My first thought as I put away my logo T and matching hat from my day job was where could I find fries like this. I’ve been eating only high-quality cuisine for so long I didn’t know where to begin. I thought of the basic chains that serve terrible food; TGIFriday topped my list. Trouble is I honestly couldn’t even bring myself to walk into one. I just couldn’t do it.
My second thought was that anyone could dump fries in a fryer and slap cheese on top. My options were endless. So I would go back to my favorite downtown, after-work hangout. Trouble with that? I’d already told the manager about my blog and would be way too embarrassed to make that special request. I blog about healthy living. Shit! Again I just couldn’t do it.
So I spent the next 20 minutes walking around the Loop in Chicago trying to find the perfect place to grab my dirty cure. Oooo Hotel Bar! People there would think I was a tourist and not remember me if they saw me on the street. Well that one was closed for a private party. I so dislike eating in chain restaurants that I decided that was my only choice. The staff wouldn’t know me because I wouldn’t come back and no one I know would bother walking in with all the great local grub around. A ha! Elephant and Castle. They won out. Lucky them after the way I have been talking, eh? I sat at a table near the bar, ordered the house Cab and made my special request with an unapologetic giggle. After all I had put a lot of thought into this. Done.
The steaming pile came out quicker then I could hope for. A sip of my Cab and in I dived. The first fry tasted great! Everything I had dreamed of. I should have stopped there. The rest far missed their mark. They couldn’t possibly have lived up to my expectations. They were going to fix me up. Erase the last few days and put me back to normal. That is quite a load for a plate of potatoes and cheddar to bear. I should have known better. I do know better.
Clearly I have learned one lesson over the years, I didn’t finish my plate. I definitely ate way more than I needed to given their failure to make my day… but I did stop, let my bottom lip droop a little with disappointment and had my server take away the rejects. The Cab, though, may never fail.
Its amazing how much time I wasted, and energy and thought. I could have enjoyed a rejuvenating meal at one my favorite places. The odds are I may relapse again at some point and forget about food's inability to cure my moods. The best I can hope for is that I continue to remember faster then 2/3rds of the way through a plate of Cheesy Fries.
Give and Take
Breakfast: Coffee, Perfect Bagel w/ reduced fat cream cheese and salmon
Lunch: Cheesy Fries
Yoga: One Full Forward Bend
What a day!
8.22.2009
Me and Mine
For as many different people as there are in the world, there is an equal number of ways that people view their bodies. That number increases too, when you take into account the changes we go through as we age and grow.
My relationship with my body now is a very loving partnership. It’s grounded in teamwork and equality. It wasn’t always like that for me. At my largest I didn’t feel particularly fat. I wore bigger sizes (my wedding dress was an 18) and I knew it wasn’t healthy…. Hence all the dieting… But ultimately it wasn’t until I saw what I could be; the clothes, the energy, that I really began to be sad and disappointed by my body. I cried in dressing rooms when the clothes I wanted to wear didn’t fit me the way they did other people. It struck me that they could judge who I was by my weight. I remember looking in the mirror after I had lost weight and thinking that I had never put so much thought into that judgment when I was at my biggest. And in some ways that was a blessing.
But I am not one of those that believe ignorance is bliss. Ignorance is just denial. So often we are smart and aware enough to know the truth. We are just fooling ourselves. I may not have needed to feel judged to lose weight, but I did need to feel healthy and H. I told a friend recently that I may not be the smallest I have ever been, but I am the Happiest I have ever been. I haven’t weighed myself in a lot of years but I wear the clothes I want to wear and they feel good. It comes from the confidence and knowledge that I am making great choices to help me live a long and strong life. It makes me feel beautiful.
Honestly during the sad times, I would look in the mirror and say, “At least I have a pretty face”. It sounds a bit sad but it really helped me to concentrate on all those things I had. Not the things I couldn’t do or fit into. Gradually as I saw the beauty in the small things I had… I respected and loved myself more. I wanted to take better care of myself because I deserved it… I had a pretty face and I could say that there were a few people who loved me. And they were important people to me and I loved them too. If they thought I was worth loving.. I was. I was taking better care of myself and starting to feel better. Its amazing how getting regular haircuts and having my nails or lashes done, made me feel pretty. There is no reason we can’t all feel beautiful all the time. Its optimism and it works for me.
Decent Exposure
I mentioned my blog to a friend recently and he shared a story with me. It made me realize that not all of our relationships with our bodies have to do with weight. My friend talked to me about his conservative upbringing. Growing up your body is a very private thing. The sentiment was instilled in most of us, but it made an impression on him so deep that he was only ever naked during sex and in the shower. Nudity made him nervous and uncomfortable to the point that he had never seen himself naked. So he made a New Year’s resolution. He was going to break out of this mold and visit a nudist resort. Leading up to his scheduled appointment he was anxious and edgy. Exploring dozens of questions repeatedly in his mind…. Will they judge me? Will I become aroused? Do I measure up?
The night before the big visit he decided that he should see what everyone else was about to see. He took a picture. That was the first time he’d really looked at himself. The next day was full of anxiety, but once he got up the gumption to disrobe and step on campus, he quickly settled in. Feeling more at ease in this setting than fully clothed in a place with familiar people. His questions about his body were answered. No they would not judge him. No he would not become aroused because it wasn’t about that. And would he measure up was a non-issue. There was no measuring. Now he wishes he had always felt this comfortable in his skin.
You and Yours
This friend has found the connection between him and his body and it has nothing to do with the food he puts in it. On the flip side, there are people who can’t quite connect their body with who they are. Another friend of mine is constantly surprised by her reflection. When she catches herself in the mirror, does not believe that the beauty and emotions she feels on the inside are accurately reflected in her outer appearance. She is at a different point in her journey…
Where are you in yours?
Give and Take
Breakfast: Coffee, Fiber Plus Bar
Lunch: A concoction made by a friend at Protein Bar
Dinner: Grilled Cheese Wrap, Red Wine
Yoga: 20 minutes of energizing stretches
Fiber Plus Bar: Great source of fiber to jump start my day. Even on-the-go breakfast is important to turn on your metabolism.
Lunch Concoction included: Granola – high calorie source of whole grains, high in protein and fiber, Greek yogurt – a non-fat food that has 3 times the protein of regular yogurt, Acai – a Brazilian berry stacked with antioxidants that an infomercial would say “reduces the signs of aging” which really means it blocks the absorption of the toxins our body and systems are exposed to. A very trendy berry right now, Banana – high in potassium, good for eyes and bones
Grilled cheese: Pepper jack cheese – spicy foods raise metabolism, cheese in moderation gives your body calcium, whole wheat wrap - less carbs and less filling then bread.
Red wine – the only alcohol that could even think of claiming health benefits, its similar to coffee in that the research goes back and forth, but essentially the verdict is in moderation is can show benefits for your heart.
My relationship with my body now is a very loving partnership. It’s grounded in teamwork and equality. It wasn’t always like that for me. At my largest I didn’t feel particularly fat. I wore bigger sizes (my wedding dress was an 18) and I knew it wasn’t healthy…. Hence all the dieting… But ultimately it wasn’t until I saw what I could be; the clothes, the energy, that I really began to be sad and disappointed by my body. I cried in dressing rooms when the clothes I wanted to wear didn’t fit me the way they did other people. It struck me that they could judge who I was by my weight. I remember looking in the mirror after I had lost weight and thinking that I had never put so much thought into that judgment when I was at my biggest. And in some ways that was a blessing.
But I am not one of those that believe ignorance is bliss. Ignorance is just denial. So often we are smart and aware enough to know the truth. We are just fooling ourselves. I may not have needed to feel judged to lose weight, but I did need to feel healthy and H. I told a friend recently that I may not be the smallest I have ever been, but I am the Happiest I have ever been. I haven’t weighed myself in a lot of years but I wear the clothes I want to wear and they feel good. It comes from the confidence and knowledge that I am making great choices to help me live a long and strong life. It makes me feel beautiful.
Honestly during the sad times, I would look in the mirror and say, “At least I have a pretty face”. It sounds a bit sad but it really helped me to concentrate on all those things I had. Not the things I couldn’t do or fit into. Gradually as I saw the beauty in the small things I had… I respected and loved myself more. I wanted to take better care of myself because I deserved it… I had a pretty face and I could say that there were a few people who loved me. And they were important people to me and I loved them too. If they thought I was worth loving.. I was. I was taking better care of myself and starting to feel better. Its amazing how getting regular haircuts and having my nails or lashes done, made me feel pretty. There is no reason we can’t all feel beautiful all the time. Its optimism and it works for me.
Decent Exposure
I mentioned my blog to a friend recently and he shared a story with me. It made me realize that not all of our relationships with our bodies have to do with weight. My friend talked to me about his conservative upbringing. Growing up your body is a very private thing. The sentiment was instilled in most of us, but it made an impression on him so deep that he was only ever naked during sex and in the shower. Nudity made him nervous and uncomfortable to the point that he had never seen himself naked. So he made a New Year’s resolution. He was going to break out of this mold and visit a nudist resort. Leading up to his scheduled appointment he was anxious and edgy. Exploring dozens of questions repeatedly in his mind…. Will they judge me? Will I become aroused? Do I measure up?
The night before the big visit he decided that he should see what everyone else was about to see. He took a picture. That was the first time he’d really looked at himself. The next day was full of anxiety, but once he got up the gumption to disrobe and step on campus, he quickly settled in. Feeling more at ease in this setting than fully clothed in a place with familiar people. His questions about his body were answered. No they would not judge him. No he would not become aroused because it wasn’t about that. And would he measure up was a non-issue. There was no measuring. Now he wishes he had always felt this comfortable in his skin.
You and Yours
This friend has found the connection between him and his body and it has nothing to do with the food he puts in it. On the flip side, there are people who can’t quite connect their body with who they are. Another friend of mine is constantly surprised by her reflection. When she catches herself in the mirror, does not believe that the beauty and emotions she feels on the inside are accurately reflected in her outer appearance. She is at a different point in her journey…
Where are you in yours?
Give and Take
Breakfast: Coffee, Fiber Plus Bar
Lunch: A concoction made by a friend at Protein Bar
Dinner: Grilled Cheese Wrap, Red Wine
Yoga: 20 minutes of energizing stretches
Fiber Plus Bar: Great source of fiber to jump start my day. Even on-the-go breakfast is important to turn on your metabolism.
Lunch Concoction included: Granola – high calorie source of whole grains, high in protein and fiber, Greek yogurt – a non-fat food that has 3 times the protein of regular yogurt, Acai – a Brazilian berry stacked with antioxidants that an infomercial would say “reduces the signs of aging” which really means it blocks the absorption of the toxins our body and systems are exposed to. A very trendy berry right now, Banana – high in potassium, good for eyes and bones
Grilled cheese: Pepper jack cheese – spicy foods raise metabolism, cheese in moderation gives your body calcium, whole wheat wrap - less carbs and less filling then bread.
Red wine – the only alcohol that could even think of claiming health benefits, its similar to coffee in that the research goes back and forth, but essentially the verdict is in moderation is can show benefits for your heart.
8.13.2009
Context
A quick note about why any of this matters. About why I care if my body is on my team. Why I care if we communicate well and back each other up.
I eat well to nourish my team. I nourish my team to help us communicate. I communicate clearly so we can move forward. I move forward in order to contribute, to leave the world better than I how I found it. I leave the world better to return the gift God (or whoever put me on this earth) gave me to experience all the amazing things the world offers. I believe in God because it gives me context.
At some point I think we all question why we are here and what we should be doing about it. I think I am here because God put me here.. You may have a different answer when you ask yourself. And as far as what I should be doing about it.. That is always a work in progress.. but I feel like the more centered I am and the more I can feel of the world around me, the closer I am to discovering the answer. When you listen to your body so closely you can feel your heart and you can hear the way it is asking you to go.
Simplified yes, but those are the basics. Giving me purpose is one thing. Keeping it on track is a whole challenge in and of itself. Baby steps….
Thank You
I wanted to take this post to quickly say thank you. I am grateful for the loyal reading of this blog by friends and friends of friends and as of today... even strangers. And slightly amazed at how many of you can find something in my text that strikes a cord with you. To me that shows how so many of us are in this together. How many of us feel against our bodies at times and want to feel better. As you read if you come up with anything you would like to share or have questions about, please email me. (sskvarla@gmail.com) The type of discussion that would follow is infinitely valuable to me. Also feel free to comment on a post.
I eat well to nourish my team. I nourish my team to help us communicate. I communicate clearly so we can move forward. I move forward in order to contribute, to leave the world better than I how I found it. I leave the world better to return the gift God (or whoever put me on this earth) gave me to experience all the amazing things the world offers. I believe in God because it gives me context.
At some point I think we all question why we are here and what we should be doing about it. I think I am here because God put me here.. You may have a different answer when you ask yourself. And as far as what I should be doing about it.. That is always a work in progress.. but I feel like the more centered I am and the more I can feel of the world around me, the closer I am to discovering the answer. When you listen to your body so closely you can feel your heart and you can hear the way it is asking you to go.
Simplified yes, but those are the basics. Giving me purpose is one thing. Keeping it on track is a whole challenge in and of itself. Baby steps….
Thank You
I wanted to take this post to quickly say thank you. I am grateful for the loyal reading of this blog by friends and friends of friends and as of today... even strangers. And slightly amazed at how many of you can find something in my text that strikes a cord with you. To me that shows how so many of us are in this together. How many of us feel against our bodies at times and want to feel better. As you read if you come up with anything you would like to share or have questions about, please email me. (sskvarla@gmail.com) The type of discussion that would follow is infinitely valuable to me. Also feel free to comment on a post.
8.11.2009
My Blog Is Late
I said I would post Mondays and here it is Tuesday afternoon. I made a conscience decision last night to go to sleep instead of publishing my post. Turns out the choice was pretty appropriate. I wanted to talk about another thing we need to give our bodies in addition to the healthy fuel and careful, deliberate movement.
Sleep
Every person needs 6.5 to 7.5 hours of sleep per night. Our bodies use that uninterrupted time so effectively and we don’t even have to participate. That is our reboot time. After we enter the famous REM sleep, after about 90 minutes, we get to work calming all our systems and getting them back in rhythm.
There might be more impact in saying how Not getting that much sleep is detrimental to your team. One of the things your body does during good sleep is secrete a substance that tells your body you are full. Ever wonder why you can go 8-10 hours without eating overnight, but not as long during the day? If your body doesn’t have a chance to release that because you don’t sleep long enough or soundly enough the more likely you are to overeat during the day. Also more likely to be too tired to make good choices for your team that might feel like more work to a tired body.
In the day following a lack of sleep, we are more likely to use sugar and soda containing high-fructose corn syrup to get us through the day. Those block this secretion too and we tend to eat more. Double Whammy!
Perfect Example
I got a total of 8 hours of sleep, evenly split between Saturday and Sunday nights this weekend. It was infinitely harder to give myself the things my body needs on that amount of sleep. I didn’t have the energy to do more than a total of 25 minutes of yoga over the two days and I woke up hungry both Sunday and Monday mornings. Resulting in poor choices in the food department which of course causes a ripple effect of not feeling on top of things. I believe there may have even been a stop at Dunkin for an egg and cheese croissant. Not only that but the pure mental capacity was limited. I had this general feeling of being off center, a little fuzzy and unable to connect the dots that I can on a day centered by sleep and natural fuel.
So last night I decided to end the cycle. Go to bed. Get a good night’s sleep and post a day later. You all got a better post for it. I hate to think what I would have put out there last night.
Sometimes we make “sacrifices” to do well by our team. It’s a strong word to describe the choices we make, but whatever the emphasis on the things we give up, our team needs to come first.
Give and Take
After 2 days of subpar giving, today we are back on the right track.
Breakfast: All Bran Cereal w/ skim milk
Lunch: Market Salad at the Sidebar Grille
Water, Cranberry Juice
Sidebar Grille is one of my favorite after-work cocktail spots in Chicago. Big salad menu which I love. (Order your dressing on the side for more control. True anywhere.) The Market Salad is fantastic. So many great, fresh veggies that may not make their way into your routine otherwise. Including…
Avocado - helps keep cholesterol in check, decreasing the bad kind and increasing the good!
Cucumbers -your body burns more calories digesting them than they contain, “negative calories”
Hearts of palm - great source of protein, iron and calcium
Tomatoes - contain the folate that helps prevent cancer
Fresh greens. Yum!
Sleep
Every person needs 6.5 to 7.5 hours of sleep per night. Our bodies use that uninterrupted time so effectively and we don’t even have to participate. That is our reboot time. After we enter the famous REM sleep, after about 90 minutes, we get to work calming all our systems and getting them back in rhythm.
There might be more impact in saying how Not getting that much sleep is detrimental to your team. One of the things your body does during good sleep is secrete a substance that tells your body you are full. Ever wonder why you can go 8-10 hours without eating overnight, but not as long during the day? If your body doesn’t have a chance to release that because you don’t sleep long enough or soundly enough the more likely you are to overeat during the day. Also more likely to be too tired to make good choices for your team that might feel like more work to a tired body.
In the day following a lack of sleep, we are more likely to use sugar and soda containing high-fructose corn syrup to get us through the day. Those block this secretion too and we tend to eat more. Double Whammy!
Perfect Example
I got a total of 8 hours of sleep, evenly split between Saturday and Sunday nights this weekend. It was infinitely harder to give myself the things my body needs on that amount of sleep. I didn’t have the energy to do more than a total of 25 minutes of yoga over the two days and I woke up hungry both Sunday and Monday mornings. Resulting in poor choices in the food department which of course causes a ripple effect of not feeling on top of things. I believe there may have even been a stop at Dunkin for an egg and cheese croissant. Not only that but the pure mental capacity was limited. I had this general feeling of being off center, a little fuzzy and unable to connect the dots that I can on a day centered by sleep and natural fuel.
So last night I decided to end the cycle. Go to bed. Get a good night’s sleep and post a day later. You all got a better post for it. I hate to think what I would have put out there last night.
Sometimes we make “sacrifices” to do well by our team. It’s a strong word to describe the choices we make, but whatever the emphasis on the things we give up, our team needs to come first.
Give and Take
After 2 days of subpar giving, today we are back on the right track.
Breakfast: All Bran Cereal w/ skim milk
Lunch: Market Salad at the Sidebar Grille
Water, Cranberry Juice
Sidebar Grille is one of my favorite after-work cocktail spots in Chicago. Big salad menu which I love. (Order your dressing on the side for more control. True anywhere.) The Market Salad is fantastic. So many great, fresh veggies that may not make their way into your routine otherwise. Including…
Avocado - helps keep cholesterol in check, decreasing the bad kind and increasing the good!
Cucumbers -your body burns more calories digesting them than they contain, “negative calories”
Hearts of palm - great source of protein, iron and calcium
Tomatoes - contain the folate that helps prevent cancer
Fresh greens. Yum!
8.06.2009
Food Training
The longer we have been on opposite teams with our bodies the more training we need to get up to speed. Sometimes training takes persistence. When you replace foods that don’t do your team any favors with those that will you might miss the tastes. We have been over-stimulating our buds with excessive amounts of salt and sugar. Usually added to foods that have lost their natural flavors through processing. At first foods might taste bland or just different. Trust and training will open you up to a much wider variety of flavors as you taste each food for what it is, not merely salty or sweet.
When I first started “Fat Flush”ing in 2002, I was used to fairly high sodium foods and sweetened sodas and desserts. (I didn’t necessarily recognize that the foods I was eating were so enhanced until I started eating new, more natural foods. The retraining started with unsweetened cranberry juice. It can be pretty intense both in taste and function so generally it’s diluted with water. To offset the tartness I also stirred in a packet of stevia. It’s a natural sweetener made from the stevia plant. Its pure form is actually sweeter than white sugar. Eventually I stopped adding stevia as well.
It certainly took some getting used to the taste, but the effects made me never want to go back. Cranberries are a natural diuretic meaning eating them cleanses the liver and keeps things moving along the same lines as the ever popular fiber. I dropped a bit of water weight right away, but mostly I Felt thinner. A bit like getting an oil change for your Mazda keeps your gas mileage in check, a clean liver keeps digestion efficient and your weight down. Having those toxins out of my liver makes me less bloated which means even that special time of the month is so much more comfortable. Bonus!
You don’t get the same effect with sweetened cranberry juice (found in all major grocery stores) or dried cranberries due to the sugar content. The sensitivities that most of us have to sugar counteract all the benefits of the cran. Back to basics. Natural is better here. (By the way… you can find the unsweetened cranberry juice at Trader Joe’s and the stevia is now available widely under the brand Truvia. Two cups of juice in a two quart pitcher. Fill it with water and add a packet. Done.)
I started cutting out sugar other places too. Stopped buying cookies and chips that took my taste buds to extremes. I could never leave chocolate behind entirely, but switched to the darkest I could find.
Its at this point when you need to listen to your body and trust its messages. Listen to how it reacts when you consume the healthy fare. At first my body craved the really salty/sweet stuff, but training through those cravings or replacing say… a soda with sparkling water and lemon squeeze got me through. Before long not only did my cravings subside, when I did eat the rich stuff I could feel my body react. Always undesirably. Over time I learned that in order to feel good all the time, I had to avoid that sugar all together and stick with what genuinely felt good. It didn’t happen over night, but I really do love that McD’s fries, Diet Coke and Oreos don’t even sound appealing. My standards for dessert have gone through the roof and only the highest quality darkest chocolate tastes good anymore. And anything less doesn’t satisfy anything, emotional or otherwise.
Replacing Not Depleting
This is not about deprivation! It’s not about cutting out calories just to “train” yourself to eat less. It doesn’t work and there is no health in that. Depletion is not the kind of training your body needs. It just needs to be rebooted so you can enjoy the healthy foods for what they offer. (more on "portion control" another day...)
Give and Take
Breakfast: Coffee, Michigan Ave-alanche (from Protein Bar)
Lunch: All Bran Cereal with Skim milk
Water and cranberry juice all day
Yoga: 90 minutes of lower body stretches, backbends and spine loosening postures
Protein Bar is a great quick-service restaurant in the West Loop in Chicago. Among all the yummy and good-for-you things they offer, their specialty is high-protein blended drinks and bowls. You will hear that I eat at Protein Bar quite a bit. The Michigan Ave-alanche is my favorite of their drinks. It’s loaded with protein and good fats from almonds and granola. Protein is key because it can raise your metabolism by 25% and gets your liver detoxifying. (Sidebar: One reason why eggs help cure a hangover. The protein kicks the liver into gear to get rid of all the toxins we clog it up with while boozing.)
All Bran Cereal is chuck full of fiber which moves everything along and milk does your body good. It’s a natural food with calcium and skim limits my fat intake.
Trust. Train. You’ll see…
When I first started “Fat Flush”ing in 2002, I was used to fairly high sodium foods and sweetened sodas and desserts. (I didn’t necessarily recognize that the foods I was eating were so enhanced until I started eating new, more natural foods. The retraining started with unsweetened cranberry juice. It can be pretty intense both in taste and function so generally it’s diluted with water. To offset the tartness I also stirred in a packet of stevia. It’s a natural sweetener made from the stevia plant. Its pure form is actually sweeter than white sugar. Eventually I stopped adding stevia as well.
It certainly took some getting used to the taste, but the effects made me never want to go back. Cranberries are a natural diuretic meaning eating them cleanses the liver and keeps things moving along the same lines as the ever popular fiber. I dropped a bit of water weight right away, but mostly I Felt thinner. A bit like getting an oil change for your Mazda keeps your gas mileage in check, a clean liver keeps digestion efficient and your weight down. Having those toxins out of my liver makes me less bloated which means even that special time of the month is so much more comfortable. Bonus!
You don’t get the same effect with sweetened cranberry juice (found in all major grocery stores) or dried cranberries due to the sugar content. The sensitivities that most of us have to sugar counteract all the benefits of the cran. Back to basics. Natural is better here. (By the way… you can find the unsweetened cranberry juice at Trader Joe’s and the stevia is now available widely under the brand Truvia. Two cups of juice in a two quart pitcher. Fill it with water and add a packet. Done.)
I started cutting out sugar other places too. Stopped buying cookies and chips that took my taste buds to extremes. I could never leave chocolate behind entirely, but switched to the darkest I could find.
Its at this point when you need to listen to your body and trust its messages. Listen to how it reacts when you consume the healthy fare. At first my body craved the really salty/sweet stuff, but training through those cravings or replacing say… a soda with sparkling water and lemon squeeze got me through. Before long not only did my cravings subside, when I did eat the rich stuff I could feel my body react. Always undesirably. Over time I learned that in order to feel good all the time, I had to avoid that sugar all together and stick with what genuinely felt good. It didn’t happen over night, but I really do love that McD’s fries, Diet Coke and Oreos don’t even sound appealing. My standards for dessert have gone through the roof and only the highest quality darkest chocolate tastes good anymore. And anything less doesn’t satisfy anything, emotional or otherwise.
Replacing Not Depleting
This is not about deprivation! It’s not about cutting out calories just to “train” yourself to eat less. It doesn’t work and there is no health in that. Depletion is not the kind of training your body needs. It just needs to be rebooted so you can enjoy the healthy foods for what they offer. (more on "portion control" another day...)
Give and Take
Breakfast: Coffee, Michigan Ave-alanche (from Protein Bar)
Lunch: All Bran Cereal with Skim milk
Water and cranberry juice all day
Yoga: 90 minutes of lower body stretches, backbends and spine loosening postures
Protein Bar is a great quick-service restaurant in the West Loop in Chicago. Among all the yummy and good-for-you things they offer, their specialty is high-protein blended drinks and bowls. You will hear that I eat at Protein Bar quite a bit. The Michigan Ave-alanche is my favorite of their drinks. It’s loaded with protein and good fats from almonds and granola. Protein is key because it can raise your metabolism by 25% and gets your liver detoxifying. (Sidebar: One reason why eggs help cure a hangover. The protein kicks the liver into gear to get rid of all the toxins we clog it up with while boozing.)
All Bran Cereal is chuck full of fiber which moves everything along and milk does your body good. It’s a natural food with calcium and skim limits my fat intake.
Trust. Train. You’ll see…
8.03.2009
Real Food
It’s important to eat real, whole food as often as absolutely possible. We will never be able to know exactly what every food or combination of nutrients does for or against us. Nature works in complex ways. And because none of these nutrients exist in a bubble we can’t definitively test them.
Eggs are a perfect example. Science found the cholesterol in them, we all freaked out labeling them as artery clogging and birthing the egg white omelet and then … lo and behold we found the nutrient it contains to solve that issue. Naturally. It’s not an exact science we need to trust that we were built to work in harmony with the earth we were put on. The more we mess with that intension the greater risk we face of knocking our bodies out of sync. (Since the beginning of the Low-fat “health” craze, health disease statistics have actually risen. .. fyi)
By the same token, Fresh is mostly best. Holds the integrity of the food and everything in it. Frozen, similar concept.
In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan
I have recently finished reading a book that talks to this topic directly. Michael Pollan is a journalist with very distinct opinions about the position of traditional American agriculture and its influence on the way we eat. In Defense of Food speaks to this point of “nutritionism”, which Pollan defines as “the widely shared but unexamined assumption” that “foods are essentially the sum of their nutrient parts.” He is concerned that the more we try to pinpoint each nutrient and chemical in our natural foods and recreate it in our processed foods, the more we miss the point. Pollan seems to believe that the more we mess with nature the unhealthier we actually become.
I think that makes a lot of sense in part because I believe in the context in which I live. The environment that surrounds me and I are deeply intertwined. We were all intended to work together and as we progress through scientific breakthroughs for disease we need to continually take responsibility for our natural part in the equation. We have gotten lazy and tried to take the short cut to health relying on pills and supplements to nourish us.
Pollan speaks briefly to our culture of eating and compares it to others around the world. The French and Italians savor their meals and eat the same foods they have made for centuries. They are a healthier people for it. Somewhere along the lines the majority of Americans have gotten to appreciate food only when rich and glutinous. All along missing the joy in simple flavors brought together in beautiful harmony to form delicious meals.
There are so many factors that surround eating and Pollan touches on them with his personal style of political annoyance et al. The amount of time we spend eating, the effort and money we put into feeding ourselves and our move away from mealtime as family time and how all of this effects the changes in our diet and ultimately our health.
Personal “Nutritionism”
Certainly while I was dropping pounds I read all about which trendy miracle nutrient could make all my dreams come true. Fiber, B12, Omega-3s. All of them are essential and for years we didn’t think about them because we ate food where those things appeared naturally. We think about them so much more now because we have to add them back in our foods. We make meals practically out of thin air (mostly corn and soybeans as Pollan educates.) and so in order to try and meet the needs of our bodies we stick nutrients in things they don’t naturally appear in. Fiber in cereal bars, calcium in oj, omega-3 fats in bread.
I have to say eating those things was a great beginning for me. Jump started my efforts without changing my lifestyle of non-cooking too much. And as I continue my balancing act, I will have a place in my diet for some of those nutrients outside the foods they originated in. We are lucky to that point. We are able to take control of our diets with the knowledge of years of research and intellectual brain power. Always keeping in mind that it is not an exact science.
But now that I have grasp on the important things my body needs I am changing the way I get those things. It really is a lifestyle change to eat so many fruits and vegetables, but its important for my team. They take time to prepare, they cost money and they require a certain bit if creativity at times. But when I am filling up on such a variety of foods, my body and my psyche line up.
Give and Take
Breakfast: 2 eggs, some hashbrowns with Tabasco, rye toast with jam… coffee.
There is nothing too interesting about hashbrowns. Judging by the Norwood’s Café’s motif (including a signed and autographed picture of George W. sitting in the both behind me in late September 2001), I am guessing these used to be frozen, but are essentially real potatoes. I appreciate their lack of flavor. Potatoes don’t have much on their own so I know they haven’t been salted and are very lightly fried. Spicy foods raise your metabolism hence the Tabasco. Again there is plenty of sugar in the jam.. So moderation is key here.
Yoga: 30 minutes concentrating on stretches for comfort during meditation, shoulder stretches and brief spine loosening movements.
Eggs are a perfect example. Science found the cholesterol in them, we all freaked out labeling them as artery clogging and birthing the egg white omelet and then … lo and behold we found the nutrient it contains to solve that issue. Naturally. It’s not an exact science we need to trust that we were built to work in harmony with the earth we were put on. The more we mess with that intension the greater risk we face of knocking our bodies out of sync. (Since the beginning of the Low-fat “health” craze, health disease statistics have actually risen. .. fyi)
By the same token, Fresh is mostly best. Holds the integrity of the food and everything in it. Frozen, similar concept.
In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan
I have recently finished reading a book that talks to this topic directly. Michael Pollan is a journalist with very distinct opinions about the position of traditional American agriculture and its influence on the way we eat. In Defense of Food speaks to this point of “nutritionism”, which Pollan defines as “the widely shared but unexamined assumption” that “foods are essentially the sum of their nutrient parts.” He is concerned that the more we try to pinpoint each nutrient and chemical in our natural foods and recreate it in our processed foods, the more we miss the point. Pollan seems to believe that the more we mess with nature the unhealthier we actually become.
I think that makes a lot of sense in part because I believe in the context in which I live. The environment that surrounds me and I are deeply intertwined. We were all intended to work together and as we progress through scientific breakthroughs for disease we need to continually take responsibility for our natural part in the equation. We have gotten lazy and tried to take the short cut to health relying on pills and supplements to nourish us.
Pollan speaks briefly to our culture of eating and compares it to others around the world. The French and Italians savor their meals and eat the same foods they have made for centuries. They are a healthier people for it. Somewhere along the lines the majority of Americans have gotten to appreciate food only when rich and glutinous. All along missing the joy in simple flavors brought together in beautiful harmony to form delicious meals.
There are so many factors that surround eating and Pollan touches on them with his personal style of political annoyance et al. The amount of time we spend eating, the effort and money we put into feeding ourselves and our move away from mealtime as family time and how all of this effects the changes in our diet and ultimately our health.
Personal “Nutritionism”
Certainly while I was dropping pounds I read all about which trendy miracle nutrient could make all my dreams come true. Fiber, B12, Omega-3s. All of them are essential and for years we didn’t think about them because we ate food where those things appeared naturally. We think about them so much more now because we have to add them back in our foods. We make meals practically out of thin air (mostly corn and soybeans as Pollan educates.) and so in order to try and meet the needs of our bodies we stick nutrients in things they don’t naturally appear in. Fiber in cereal bars, calcium in oj, omega-3 fats in bread.
I have to say eating those things was a great beginning for me. Jump started my efforts without changing my lifestyle of non-cooking too much. And as I continue my balancing act, I will have a place in my diet for some of those nutrients outside the foods they originated in. We are lucky to that point. We are able to take control of our diets with the knowledge of years of research and intellectual brain power. Always keeping in mind that it is not an exact science.
But now that I have grasp on the important things my body needs I am changing the way I get those things. It really is a lifestyle change to eat so many fruits and vegetables, but its important for my team. They take time to prepare, they cost money and they require a certain bit if creativity at times. But when I am filling up on such a variety of foods, my body and my psyche line up.
Give and Take
Breakfast: 2 eggs, some hashbrowns with Tabasco, rye toast with jam… coffee.
There is nothing too interesting about hashbrowns. Judging by the Norwood’s Café’s motif (including a signed and autographed picture of George W. sitting in the both behind me in late September 2001), I am guessing these used to be frozen, but are essentially real potatoes. I appreciate their lack of flavor. Potatoes don’t have much on their own so I know they haven’t been salted and are very lightly fried. Spicy foods raise your metabolism hence the Tabasco. Again there is plenty of sugar in the jam.. So moderation is key here.
Yoga: 30 minutes concentrating on stretches for comfort during meditation, shoulder stretches and brief spine loosening movements.
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